How to Break Through Barriers

How to Break Through Barriers

Tim Fitzpatrick
Do you feel stuck or are you struggling to gain the freedom that you thought you would have as a business owner? If so, you're going to love the conversation I'm having today. I've got a special guest with me and we are going to dig into how to break through barriers. Hi, I am Tim Fitzpatrick with Rialto Marketing. Thank you so much for tuning in. I am super excited to have with me today Elizabeth Payne from Elizabeth Payne Coaching. Thanks for taking the time and welcome.

Elizabeth Payne
Hi, Tim. I am so glad to be here.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yes, I love it. I told you before we started, this is one of my favorite parts of the week. I love getting people on and just having cool conversations. I always learn a ton of things doing this as I hope the people that consume all this content get from it as well. So thank you for being here. Before we get into it, I think we probably need to just acknowledge the fact that as we shoot this, it is September 11th, which, gosh, it's crazy to think that that was 19 years ago.

Tim Fitzpatrick
I remember exactly where I was, what I was doing when I learned of that news, as I think most of us remember that day. And I just want to send thoughts, prayers out to those people that lost their lives, lost family members, and just say thank you to all the servicemen and women that did so much to help this country during that really difficult time. So, gosh, not much else to say other than that right.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Well, thank you for being here. Before we get into talking about how to break through barriers, which as business owners, we are running into barriers all the time. Tell us a little bit more about what you do, how you help people.

Elizabeth Payne
Sure, I'd be glad to. I am an empowerment coach and an expert in subconscious transformation. And I started my career in the engineering field. I was a manager in engineering for 15 years, actually, and I went on this crazy journey and eventually discovered that I was living a dream, but it was not my actual dream. So I ventured out on my own and started Elizabeth Payne coaching and now I help business owners that are like you said, they're feeling stuck or they are wanting more freedom, more success, more abundance, more ease. A lot of people get into owning their own business for all of those own reasons, and then they find themselves stuck hitting their head on the ceiling. And that's where I come in.

Tim Fitzpatrick
OK, cool. I love that. I'd be lying if I said I've never been in that place where I felt stuck. And I think as entrepreneurs, we always run into cases where, you know, it may just be, you know, a rough patch. We're hitting these roadblocks. And it's just like I have definitely had days where I was like, man, am I what am I doing? Yeah, why am I doing this? And that's natural. It happens. And thankfully, there are people like you to help us when we run into that.

Elizabeth Payne
Yes. And most entrepreneurs, they're all they're always ready for that next level, because let's face it, if you weren't driven, you wouldn't have taken the leap. That really there's another level to find.

Tim Fitzpatrick
There is. There is. And I know for me that freedom is what really drives me. And like you said, I think that's why a lot of people start their own business for the freedom that it can potentially bring us. But if we don't. If we don't know ourselves well and frankly if we don't set our business up, in the right way, all we're really doing is creating a job for ourselves. Exactly. So I am excited to dig into this.

Tim Fitzpatrick
So the first thing that we're going to talk about is the subconscious mind. So tell us more about the power of the subconscious mind, which I think a lot of us are aware of how powerful our minds can be, but it's very easy to overlook that.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah. So your subconscious mind makes up 90 percent of your brain and your conscious mind makes up 10 percent. So you can imagine if you're only working with the conscious part, you're only tapping into 10 percent of your actual power, which is not a lot. The 90 percent that's your subconscious. That's actually mostly set by the time you're six years old, which is really crazy.

Elizabeth Payne
I joke with people. If you've never looked at what's in your subconscious mind, you might be playing with the beliefs and the thoughts that your six-year-old self had. I know it's like people don't realize that.

Elizabeth Payne
So sometimes when we're hitting our head on the ceiling or we have certain limitations, maybe it's certain emotions that keep arising or a belief that we can't break through like a specific doubt or belief. Oftentimes it's stored in the subconscious. I like to use a backpack analogy, so imagine your subconscious is a backpack and you've carried it around your whole life and you just throw stuff in there.

Elizabeth Payne
You can't really look at it. You can't do anything with it. It's just for storing the stuff that you don't have time to deal with over time. That backpack is going to get really, really awful. And it's going to start to weigh you down. So you start looking at it, taking stuff out, you feel so much lighter and so much more free.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Got it, that's crazy. I have never heard anybody give that statistic about our subconscious being 90 percent of our mind. That's mind-boggling, actually.

Elizabeth Payne
And I'll tell you why it is, if you think about all the thoughts you have during the day, like if you had to relearn how to tie your shoes every morning, you would be noon and you'd be like, oh, I learned how to tie my shoes again.

Elizabeth Payne
There's so many things that you do just on auto programming that have to go into your subconscious because otherwise there's not enough moments and the day to process all of those things.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah. So how do we tap into that 90 percent?

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah. How do you tap in? And that's the magic, right. Yeah. So there's a couple of different tools and techniques. One of them is awareness and that's the first step is slowing down enough and starting to become aware.

Elizabeth Payne
A lot of people, especially entrepreneurs, they might feel like they're running through life. They feel quite like they're in a hurry, always just moving on to the next thing. You know, when you're moving at that pace, you're completely bypassing the subconscious all the time.

Elizabeth Payne
You're never actually hearing or noticing what is there. It's like a little voice, but you don't really notice it. So the first step is slowing down because once you hear that little voice, that's the goal right there because that little voice is actually driving the ship. That little voice is dictating everything. But if you can't hear it, you won't know. It's like you're fighting against yourself. So that's the first step.

Elizabeth Payne
And then there's some powerful questions that I use with clients that when you ask the question, it will give you typically the response that's actually in your subconscious. So you can start to understand what am I dealing with and how can I start to reframe things. A lot of times it's as easy as OK in your subconscious. You believe that entrepreneur life always has to be hard like everyone your whole life told you.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah, it's a struggle. It's a strain. It's like the starving artist syndrome, right?

Tim Fitzpatrick
Right. Right.

Elizabeth Payne
A lot of times it's just pointing out to your brain, hey, Uncle Bill told me that whenever I was nine and I just threw it in the backpack and also giving yourself examples like look at all the entrepreneurs that are not having that experience and then the subconscious will actually let it go. It just needs a counter.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Got it. So it's really about becoming aware of the false beliefs that we have in our subconscious.

Elizabeth Payne
Yup. And most people bulldoze over themselves, right? Like, I mean, it's not like, oh, I think the most fun thing I'm going to do today is slow down and see what my subconscious is telling me that I don't like the most fun. But the thing is, you just you get used to doing it and then suddenly you get all that junk out of the backpack and you're cruising like it's a very big life change. So for someone that's ready and willing to commit to it, it changes the course of their life.

Tim Fitzpatrick
OK. I wish I could see how that's absolutely possible. So. I think you kind of touched on awareness, and I think the next thing that we wanted to talk about was about alignment, and what is it. And I think as we were talking about awareness, alignment is related to that. So tell us a little bit more about what alignment is and how, as business owners, we can get into alignment.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah, a lot of people, when they hear alignment, they think about going to the chiropractor back in alignment. Right. A completely different kind of alignment. So in a nutshell, alignment is a connection to who you are. It's a connection to your higher self.

Elizabeth Payne
And, you know, if you're aligned based on how you feel, if you feel really good, confident, empowered, excited about life, free, abundant, you have clarity. Then, you know, OK, I am aligned. I am in alignment. If you're feeling like you're hitting your head, if you're in a space of lack, if there's a lot of fear, worry you don't have clarity any of those things, it's not bad.

Elizabeth Payne
It's nothing to be scared of. It just means you've knocked yourself out of alignment. And sometimes people will say, what's the benefit of being a business owner and being in alignment?

Elizabeth Payne
Well, I mean, one who doesn't want to feel good. Right, right. That's always going to make your day better. But when you're in alignment as a business owner, you have access to intuition and synchronicity and you have clarity about your next steps, about your future, about your mission. And you're just you're feeling good, right?

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah. Yeah. So it's when you're in alignment, it is much, much easier to make good decisions, to run your business successfully and prosper, but if you're out of alignment, you're not going to make good decisions. You may have a hard time making decisions, right? You're not going to feel well, which I'm also guessing translates to. You're just you're tired, right? You lack energy and to run a business, you've got to be excited.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah, got to be excited, you got to be energetic and other people can feel it. They can sense that, right. Like if you're tired, if you're low energy, if you're not excited, other people won't be excited. People always ask me, how am I so magnetic? And that's the key. If you're in alignment, you're magnetized people to you because people want to be in that energy.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Right. Yeah, they're naturally attracted to be around people like that. So we talked about the subconscious mind. Does the subconscious mind help you get in alignment?

Elizabeth Payne
Yes, so if people were to say to me, how do I get in alignment, Elizabeth? So that one awareness piece that we talked about, it's what is making you not feel good. So when you first wake up in the morning, when you open your eyes first, do you feel good? If you do, great. That's a great starting point. Then notice throughout your day what is making you not feel good and you'll start to see what things are knocking you out of alignment.

Elizabeth Payne
Most of the time it's triggers. We didn't say the word triggers on the subconscious one, but whenever you feel triggered by someone or something that's happening in your life, that's almost always something in the back. You're not necessarily just triggered in that moment because it's actually making you mad something in the backpack. So once you start to see throughout your day, why am I not feeling good? What's knocking me out of alignment? Most of the time it's something in your subconscious that once you clear it out, it will stop knocking you out. And your natural state is to actually be in alignment all the time like your natural state is the feel good. And as you slowly start to knock that stuff out of your subconscious, you get more and more and more aligned and you feel you notice yourself feeling better every day.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Got it, so it's identifying those triggers that are throwing you off, and when you do that, then you can start to look at, OK, how can I eliminate these triggers that are happening that are knocking me out of alignment?

Elizabeth Payne
Exactly. Yeah. And the powerful thing is that most people tend to have a pattern of a specific emotion that has been going on sometimes for decades, maybe frustration, maybe it's not good enough, maybe it's sadness. You know, there's usually a pattern and there's power in that because once hard to knock that particular one out, it knocks a whole slew of stuff out of the backpack.

Tim Fitzpatrick
You know, I would also think, too, that as business owners, we have a lot of power and control once we know what things are knocking us out of alignment to go, OK, what do I need to do to not be doing this anymore? So is it you know, it could be some of the things that we're doing within our business and all of a sudden we can say, OK, well, this is not going to be out of alignment. I need to find somebody else who loves this, that this activity puts them in alignment.

Tim Fitzpatrick
And I stopped doing this, I delegated to somebody else or maybe it's particular types of customers that are knocking me out of alignment, why stop doing business with those people.

Elizabeth Payne
And bring someone else in. And you're right, entrepreneurs have more power than maybe the average person to make those adjustments.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah, that's fascinating. So one of the things that I think a lot of business owners are are pretty good at is having you know, they started this business. They've got a vision of where they want to take it. So the vision is really important. It's talked about all the time. So tell us more about your unique take on creating visions.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah, I do love visions at working with vision specifically in this way has completely changed my life. Most listeners probably have heard of vision boards like their particular You have a vision board party. Some people do vision boards every year. And in the business space, like you said, you have a vision for your company or for yourself. A lot of people get frustrated with visions or they feel like the vision work doesn't work. The key with visions kind of ties in this alignment in the subconscious.

Elizabeth Payne
Visions work because it's an emotional connection that you have with the vision. Now, if you're unclear what your emotional connection is with the vision, it's not going to hold very much power. And if you also create the vision, but everything in your backpack, everything in your subconscious is telling you no way, there's no way that's going to happen. That's never going to happen. That's when people find that vision work is not working, is not successful because it feels good.

Elizabeth Payne
Like the vision looks good, it feels good. It's like, oh, that feels really juicy. But you got to do that underneath work to get fully aligned with the vision and then you're knocking it out of the park.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Is it if I'm in a place where I've created that vision and I'm not really believing in it is how do you know whether the issue is. Subconsciously, I'm not doing it. I've got issues there and I'm not believing it or how do you determine that's not the right vision? Does that make sense?

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah. So normally, when making decisions, I always have clients feel good before they make a vision. Decisions when you don't feel good. It's not normally going to be the best vision for you. It sounds kind of silly, but you'd be surprised how many people make visions and they're just not they're not feeling that great when you start up at baseline. I'm feeling really good today. Today's the day. I'm going to write this vision, write the vision, and tune really into the emotions.

Elizabeth Payne
Maybe it's a celebration. Maybe it's freedom, maybe it's abundance. Whatever speaks to the person. Then on the next step, we close our eyes for like 60 seconds and visualize it and feel it like as if you're celebrating at that endpoint open your eyes and ask yourself, how did that feel?

Elizabeth Payne
And if any yeah buts come up, that's your subconscious. So a lot of times the client will open their eyes and say, yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but and they'll be like eight or 10 that come up. And that's when, you know, OK, I've got to get some stuff cleared out of the way.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Got it. Yeah, so those yeah, buts are kind of the excuses.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah. Or the beliefs that don't align. Just different habitual thoughts in the mind. Yeah. And then the person does the vision for a while and at any point, if it starts to feel off or yeah buts come, they just use the same tools and clear through it because you know, you could do it for a month and it feels great. And then at the end of one month, something starts to feel a little wobbly. That's fine. Then you just do the same steps.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Got it. So it's really about it. It seems like all the things we've talked about, it's so important to be asking yourself the right questions. Which is fascinating because in business, it's all about asking the right questions. Yeah, if you ask the right questions, you can break through. But if you're not asking yourself the right questions, you're just going to stay stuck.

Elizabeth Payne
Exactly.

Tim Fitzpatrick
So let me ask you this. What what are some of the questions that you have clients ask themselves?

Elizabeth Payne
So if you have a belief that comes up like I could never do that like I'm not well-spoken enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not anything like that. With those types of thoughts, it's good to ask yourself, where does this coming from? When is the first time? I thought this one is the first time that I felt this or heard this? Yeah. Oftentimes the person will think about it for a second.

Elizabeth Payne
Oh, you know what? When I was nine years old, I had this baseball coach, and every single day he would tell me I was not smart enough. And sure enough, they've been carrying that for 30 years. And then we go back and we say, OK, do you really feel like that baseball coach should be dictating your life right now? You always know it's just gotten stuck on repeat in the brain. So that's one question is what is this reminding me of? It could be a parent. It could be some other adult in your life normally. What is it reminding me of? The other question is, what must I believe to be true, to feel this way?

Elizabeth Payne
So at the root of most feelings is a belief. Right? So if you're feeling doubt or you're feeling fear, there's a belief underneath it and the brain only holds on to things that make sense. So if you make it not make sense, then it will let it go.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Got it, and then as it left, so as you ask yourself these questions and you get the answer and obviously in the example of the, you know, the baseball coach, you know, should you really be believing this baseball coach that you dealt with 30 years ago? And the answer is, you know, you're just like, oh, my God, that's so silly when you get to that root cause. Does that just kind of naturally release what's there in the subconscious?

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah, some stuff Tim does go pretty easy, like some stuff, I'll see it on the client's face. It will be like, oh, my gosh, that's so insane. And they're just like, I can let that go. So that stuff goes pretty easy. If it doesn't, there's other tools that I'll use. There's other specific brain, like a remapping tools that I can use with clients that will help because some stuff is a little stickier, like especially if it's fear-based. Oftentimes our subconscious really wants to keep us safe. It's really sweet, but not at the same time. It's fear-based. Sometimes it's stickier.

Tim Fitzpatrick
So it would also seem to me that having the self-awareness of that sticky trait in our subconscious is also going to be really empowering because when we see that pattern showing up again, we can step back and take that. That moment, right to go, OK, I'm falling back into this fear-based pattern or whatever it is, what do I need to do to move past this?

Elizabeth Payne
You're totally right. Once, you know. I mean, I just love those words you just said once, you know, like, OK, this because every single person has something different. That's the key in their brain because it's all dependent on individual circumstances and we all have different backgrounds and different lives. Yeah. So once, you know, that's my sticking point.

Elizabeth Payne
You're totally right. You're so empowered because when it comes up, instead of spiraling down or instead of being more hard on yourself or freaking out or just making things a lot worse than they are, you're right. You can just say, oh, I've hit my sticking point. What can I do now to let go of more of this?

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah, that's fascinating. I love this. This is good stuff. You've added a ton of value. But it also gives you one other question. One of the things I talked about I think it was in the episode I did last week by myself, were some questions to help people better their relationships. But one of the things that always comes up in a peer-to-peer group that I'm in is about the most powerful business question, which is why. If I want to do something, why do I want to do that?

Tim Fitzpatrick
Right. To help dig below the surface. You gave some really powerful questions here to help figure out these things that are in our subconscious. It also seems to me that why is very related to those questions. You know it's like I'm fearful. Whoa. Why am I fearful?

Elizabeth Payne
Right.

Tim Fitzpatrick
What is that?

Elizabeth Payne
What is it about?

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah. What is it about, you know, and really figuring that out. And I can see how you know, depending on where it's coming from, some of these things can be really sticky, as you said, and others we can get past really quickly, but through them.

Elizabeth Payne
Fear, Tim fear is one of the biggest things. I mean, there's doubt there's all these other emotions. But fear is one of the biggest things that stops people from moving forward with more freedom and more success and more is because fear is the one that's mostly tied to survival. Right. Survival instinct. Yeah. So you're totally right. A lot of people don't grow up when they have fears, learning to look at the fear. It's kind of like the elephant in the room. A lot of people just run through the fear or they ignore the fear or they brush it under the rug.

Elizabeth Payne
Oftentimes it's not as bad as it feels like it's going to be one that you actually just look at it and kind of dissect it and say, is this really possible that it's going to happen or am I just projecting someone a lot of things? It's someone else's fear, right? You've just embedded deep in your mind. So, yeah, you're totally right with fear. Knowing the why is so empowering.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah, that reminds me of I think it was Mark Twain. I hope I'm not botching that where he said something to the effect of face your fear and the death of fear is certain. It was something like that. Yeah. You know, and so I think it's yeah, we are as business owners, we all battle fear at some point. But when we face it, oftentimes we find that you know, what we had conjured up in our mind wasn't quite as bad as we thought it was going to be.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah, or maybe it's someone else's fear and it's not terrible for us. But we were feeling it. Yeah.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yes. Yeah. I can definitely see how especially fears that are rooted in your upbringing were transferred from your parents or siblings day. And seeing that over and over and over again can be really, really deep.

Elizabeth Payne
Gets pretty heavy.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah. Well, Elizabeth, this has been awesome. I've gotten a ton of value, so I really appreciate it. I know the people that listen or watch will get a ton of value from it. Where can people learn more about you?

Elizabeth Payne
I've got my website, elizabethpayne.com And I'm very active on LinkedIn. So if people want to connect, I would love to. And if you feel like it's a good fit, possibly you feel called to work with me. Set up a time. I always do a 30-minute chat just to make sure it's a good fit. But I'm so excited to go on the journey with anyone that's ready to go because it's really next level.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah, very cool. And I'll just say it's Elizabeth P-A-Y-N-E dot com.

Elizabeth Payne
It won't be a pain.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Yeah, yeah. Yeah exactly. OK, so when people work with you, what are your, what are your engagements typically look like. Just so we know.

Elizabeth Payne
Yeah. So there's a three month or six-month commitment to the six-month is for someone that either wants to go a bit slower or they might be busier. We don't meet as often in the three-month we meet more often. OK, always over Zoom for the one on one part of it, and check-ins in between Zoom calls are done via Voxer and people aren't familiar. It's just like a messaging app that's free.

Tim Fitzpatrick
It's awesome. So three or six-month engagements, depending on how fast you want to move, how much time you have, if you are interested at all, you're stuck. Please reach out to Elizabeth. I think she's proved in our conversation here that she knows what she's talking about and offered a ton of value. So thank you for that. I want to thank everybody for tuning in.

Tim Fitzpatrick
Again, I'm Tim Fitzpatrick with Rialto Marketing. If you want to gain clarity on where to focus your marketing efforts right now to get the best return, pop on over to our website at rialtomarketing.com. That's R-I-A-L-T-O marketing.com. Click on and get a free consult button. You will get a ton of value from the call and walk away having clarity on where you need to focus right now. Remember, marketing your business shouldn't be a challenge. All you need is a plan. Thanks for tuning in. Till next time, take care.